Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize