saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize