It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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