Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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