I'm jealous of your bromance
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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