If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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