The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Enjoy the penises
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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