He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize