I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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