I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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