Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize