The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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