Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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