So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I skipped work to stalk him.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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