Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize