I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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