you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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