There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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