just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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