how can u be prego again
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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