You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize