too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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