We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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