I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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