OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
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I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
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