So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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