she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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