i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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