I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸ðŸ¤¦ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸ðŸ¤¦ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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