my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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