what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize