she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize