Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize