hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize