Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize