thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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