i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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