I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This is classic penis vs brain.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize