Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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