Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
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I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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