I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize