Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize