Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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