Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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