I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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