So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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