Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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