Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Please, let me fuck your mom
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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