Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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