Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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